I work in Manhattan, and live in Park Slope Brooklyn. Today I was on the subway heading home, from a particular horrible day, listening to my ipod, and thinking of how I want to change my life. I am a particularly optimistic person, with strong political views, with a real drive to make a positive mark on our world.
While licking my wounds from my day, and listening to my favorite podcast on my ipod, one of my favorite hosts was telling a story of a little girl that came into his life, and changed it forever. He spoke of meeting her in the early 1980's while managing a school for abused and neglected children in Vermont. He spoke of this little 10 year old named Shannon who showed up at their door with a social worker who had no information on the girls past. The social worker promised to bring back what they knew about her the next day as it was getting late. The scared, cold and tired little girl was put in the charge of the house mother named Nancy. They did the intake with Shannon, and it was clear that she was going to be a long term ward of the school, and would not be allowed to return to her abusive home.
While Nancy was getting Shannon settled in to a bed for the evening, Nancy tried to calm the little girls tears by rubbing her back, and telling her that she was safe now. The talk show host, who had a joining residence next to the ward where Shannon was to sleep, heard a blood curdling scream from the sleeping quarters. As he came running in to see what was the matter, he found Nancy holding the girl very tightly, as Shannon was trashing and screaming. Nancy not wanting the little girl to hurt herself or anyone else, continued to hold Shannon very tightly. While Nancy was trying to calm the girl, Shannon's night shirt slipped up to expose 50 or more cigarette burns on the little girls back. By this time in the story I am standing on the subway, almost to my stop, sobbing uncontrollably. This little girl was me! As I got off at my stop, and was walking up the steps to exit the subway station, the talk show host continued. He said that we all live in a box made of our stories and our past, like I am a liberal, I am a conservative, I am a alcoholic, I am addicted to shopping, etc. In Shannon's short time on this earth, her inner monologue was that of a little girl, that could only be controlled, at the end of her abusers lit cigarette. He continued, that it took them years to change Shannon's stories and rewrite her life box. But after much work she grew up to be a extraordinary individual, who used her past to propel her into greatness. Shannon, with help from the school, had successfully changed the way that she saw her life, and hence became a tremendous success.
What I realized today is that like Shannon, I have stayed within my box of stories, and today it is time to make some changes. Through this blog, I am going to challenge myself to do new things, and break the box that I have been living in, and rewrite the stories that have become my life. So here we go...................
